Well, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of going around, writing cute blogs, when something else is really on my mind: My Papaw.
Our family is SO good at being over optimistic to the point of denial that we often forget to deal with real life. Honestly, for me, it's a lot easier just to try not to think about things that make me uncomfortable. I mean, then I might actually have to come face to face with reality! It's easy to live in my own little house with my own little family and do my own little cooking and scrapbooking and not deal with anything!
Well, bear with me while I process:
Tuesday night, Mamaw took Papaw to the hospital because he was having severe pains in his lower abdomen area. After waiting quite some time, they got him in a room and gave him some morphine to help with the pain. Wednesday, they did a CAT scan to see what was going on inside, and sure enough, they found a mass in his bladder area. They learned that this mass had apparently started inside the bladder, had made it through the bladder, and was into some of the muscle around the bladder. Word spreads quickly in Searcy, so lots of people were praying for him!
Thankfully, on Thursday, some of that pain had gone away, though no one knew quite why. When talking to Mom about this, I was saying that maybe the morphine had helped to relax his body and that took some pain away. Then Mom put it all into perspective when she said, "Or maybe there were just hundreds of people praying and the Great Healer took some of the pain away!"
Papaw had his biopsy today, so we should know the results on Monday. Depending on those results, they may or may not do a bone scan after that. Then, I think, they'll do surgery to remove the mass and, if they need to, the whole bladder.
My concerns are intensified since John's dad passed away after having his bladder removed because he had breathing difficulties during the night while coming out of the anesthesia. They had to remove his bladder because of a mass that they found in it.
I love to hear Johnathan pray. Last night he prayed about Papaw and for God to take away his owie. :) So, that's what I'm praying, too. As Chris Rice says (and as Mom quoted in her email today), "I figure You're big enough." And He is.
But I don't understand why he has to go through this mess of a process. I know in my head that God will make good come out of every situation, but it's no fun to deal with bad stuff when it's happening. I was just telling a friend the other day, that I'm constantly trying to convince God that I'm very weak and that I can't handle bad things very well. So, if He would just keep all those yucky and painful situations away from me, that would be great. I was saying how it seemed to work most of the time ... then Mom called with the Papaw news--while I was IM'ing my friend! God's timing is impeccable.
I'm trying to trust and trying to be at peace, so that's another thing I'm praying for.
Thank you for all of the prayers that have been said and will be said.