I have the nursery all set up, except for the sheets on the crib and her name that I want to put on the wall. All of her new little clothes are hanging in the closet. Her teeny-tiny shoes are on her shelf. The mobile is assembled and hung. The organizing baskets are in order and filled--one with newborn diapers (Wow, they're tiny! I'm hoping she won't be just huge so she'll actually be able to wear them!). Johnathan's "big-boy" booster carseat is installed, and he has adjusted nicely. The infant seat is turned back around to face the rear. She could really come today and it would be okay!
John and I have been practicing our breathing/focusing/relaxing excercises. For some reason, it's heavy on my heart not to have an epidural. It's so different than with Johnathan, when I thought it was absolute madness to even think about going without. I don't feel like I have to prove anything to anyone or live up to anyone else's standards. Part of me is afraid of having a bad epidural. Johnathan's was so perfect that I can't imagine going into another labor expecting no pain whatsoever, and then having to deal with hot spots or an ineffective epidural, for whatever reason. There's a big part of me that is very attracted to the idea of having power over my body by using my mind. Mom always said I was pretty strong-willed and could do whatever I wanted to! Of course we all know that means I was really stubborn and hard-headed. Well, maybe it will pay off in the weeks to come. I've decided, too, that it's going to be okay if I'm not able to go through with it and ask for the epidural--hey, that's why they're there! I will not feel like a failure. I just have to try and see!
As you can tell, there's a lot of self-convincing going on in the previous paragraph. However, that nagging tug at my heart for not wanting an epidural refuses to go away. I have to listen to that! We'll see when we reach 6 cm ... :)
Here are a couple of pictures that I took in my little homemade studio of me at 36 weeks. I haven't been able to get the family really geared up for a photo shoot, so this may have to do!
And now, the waiting game begins!
12 comments:
Very cool pictures. Kalleigh will love these! Bless you--
Sweet pictures, Kim. As for the epidural - as long as you go into the labor process thinking you're NOT a failure if you need one, then you'll be OK. It's not a test of bravery. It's not about being strong enough (or stubborn enough). It's a choice, and you have the opportunity to change your mind! If you can, fine -- if not, fine. (OK, that's my 2 cents worth.)
I wish I had thought to take classy pregnancy pics like that. Wow!
-Daisha
Love your beautiful pictures. You have quite an eye for the photogenic. You are so beautiful, inside and out. I know you are anticipating your "birth-day". I hope it works out for you for the non-epidural if you are being pulled that direction. Either way is the "right" way. We are eager to hear the news.
You are such an adorable pregnant woman. And all-tummy, I might add. You look fabulous and I know you will be so happy to have those sweet pictures. Blessings on your last few weeks (or days).
Great pictures, Kim! Thanks for sharing them. I hope the whole labor and delivery experience goes wonderfully, whatever you decide to do for pain control.
Kim, you look beautiful! Motherhood is such a beautiful, powerful thing, and you pull it off well. Good luck with Kalleigh's birth. It doesn't matter whether you do or don't use an epidural. What matters is how much Kalleigh is raised to be like Christ. You and John will do as well with part II as Part I. ^_^
You are a very beautiful mom!
What special pictures! You did an awesome job taking them--I'm very impressed! Hey--take it from someone who thought epidurals were an absolute requirement & didn't get to have one, you CAN survive it! After all of the stories I have heard about epidurals, I'm glad now that my precious angel was too impatient for me to have one! Yes, you feel the pain, but it does go away eventually! :) Listen to your heart & do what feels right at the time (or what the anesthesiologist has time to give you!) :)!
Classy and gorgeous! You look lovely.
Hey Kim! I love reading your blog! It is such a cool way to feel in touch! Your pictures are absolutely beautiful! You look so wonderful - there is nothing in this world as wonderful as being pregnant! As for going without the epidural - YOU CAN DO IT!! I did it with Kortney and Drake and they were the most awesome deliveries. When you can work with your own body and communicate with it - well - its just incredible! Just when you think you can't handle it anymore - push yourself to make it thru - because most likely - you are almost there! But, like you said, there is always the option. I did it both ways - and definitely preferred it without! I love you and miss you and wish we could be there to see your precious baby girl. We will be anxiously awaiting pics on the Hodges Happenings! Love, Tami Good
Yea! I love pregnant pictures! :) LOVE IT!
PS Get that epidural girl!! :)
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