Feeling compelled to write

Except I don't know what to write about. Is that so weird? I mean, I dropped my second major in college because I didn't want to write the 50-page paper. Seriously, that's all I lacked to complete that major. And I still don't regret it.

But why now do I feel compelled to write? Perhaps the purpose will unfold if I just keep my fingers moving.

Maybe it's just the two cups of coffee I drank that makes me a little manic.

I feel like a little bipolar today. In some ways I'm so very bummed. The preacher search is not going at all like I would prefer. But then again, I'm not in charge. The committee isn't either, but sometimes they forget that. I'm speaking in harsh generalities, but it is how I feel today. The bullies have won. And they're going to get away with it, too. Man. I'm really sorry if I've offended anyone. Please come talk to me about it if you feel that way.

On the other hand, my coffee did fully kick in and I'm ready to conquer the world. The Children's Clothing Consignment Sale is in two weeks, and I have a load of stuff to tag and sell! The organizing of that stuff will get done today. Tagging, tomorrow. That's exciting!

John has a meeting tonight, so I'll see him just before bedtime. I'm also car-less, which feeds my feelings of helplessness. Thankfully, I have Tina who runs with me in the mornings and takes Johnathan to and from school, so I don't really  have anywhere I need to be.

Jonas is wanting to potty-train. He's giving all the signs that he's ready, and I've been dragging my feet for months. Well now, the Pull-Ups have been purchased and he's been keeping them dry as long as I initiate going potty, which he is glad to do. Except for the poopy part. That's still a little scary for him. The first time he actually pooped in the potty, he jumped when he saw it fall in! I guess he wasn't expecting that! We'll see what happens.

Tuesday was a rough day for the kids. Someone was crying at least 80% of the day and I had had it. When I picked John up from work at 5, he said, "You okay?" He got "the look" and I proceeded to whine to him the same way my children had been whining to me all day. Wonder where they get it. Anyway, rather than John pointing that out to me, he said, "Sounds like you need to get out of the house tonight." I just nearly cried right there. We ate the supper I had prepared, and after I pulled the dessert out of the oven, I went to Starbucks. I drank a smoothie, I talked to my mom, I read my book for ladies Bible class and I played games on my phone. About an hour and a half later, I was a totally different person! When I got home, the kids were bathed and in bed. I do love my husband. God, thank you for blessing me and our children with John!

The laundry sits on the counter, almost all folded, the coffee pot is empty, the younger two children are napping and Johnathan will be home in a little over an hour.

Thanks for letting me get all that out. I don't know what the purpose was for that string of nonsense, except that I do feel better. I'm hormonal and if I could just have a foot-long chili-cheese coney from Sonic, the world would probably be perfect. Sounds like I was a little more down than up today. Time to count blessings: John, kids, this precious new one growing inside, a house, rain, church family, blood family, God providing for us always, a God that understands and listens and loves anyway. And coffee. And chocolate. And coffee and chocolate.